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Showing posts from 2006

Why I celebrate Christmas even as an atheist

Although I don't believe in God or that Jesus was anything other than a man, I still celebrate Christmas and Easter in my own way. Why? 1) It is a national holiday that is part of our culture like the 4th of July. Look, I am not Catholic, but I still celebrate St. Patrick's Day and St. Valentine's Day. I don't believe in ghosts and goblins, but I still partake in the Halloween activities. 2) All of my extended family still celebrate Christmas. It is a family thing. It is fun to join in all of the festivities and traditions, including giving and getting gifts, and visiting each other. We even still put up our own lights and tree. 3) Many of the Christmas traditions aren't Christian anyway, but have pagan roots, such as Christmas trees, 25th of December, etc. And Santa is far from any religious message as well. Now, as my son grows, we will be sure to tell him how we do not believe Jesus was a Savior or that Santa or the Easter bunny are real, but that does not stop u

Thinking about Consciousness

My current thinking on the subject is that consciousness is not what we think it is. I think the phenomenon evolved probably because it proved useful for our ancestors to know which actions were caused by us and which were caused by others. But, I think we are given the sensation that we have decided to do something after our neurons have already computed and sent the signal to commit the act. (see Libet's famous experiments: http://www.consciousentities.com/libet.htm). I do not think we are really able to make parts of our brain functioning available for review. Several tightly controlled experiments have shown that we often have no idea why we do what we do or have the thoughts occur to us that we do, but if asked why we gave the answer we gave or did what we did, we will make up some plausible explanation out of what is available to us and firmly believe that our made up reason is the real reason why we did what we did. This is the same process that goes on when we speculate abo

Must we give life meaning?

(Originally posted Aug. 25, 2006, on Perspectives) Some people ask the question, "What is life for?" As an atheist and according to the way I think of the universe, there is no ultimate answer to that question. Imagining life has a purpose is just a coping mechanism we utilize to prevent depression and to keep motivated. Natural selection chose our ancestors because they had a desire to live and that gave them an advantage in producing offspring. Most of the time, we have a strong desire to live (possible exceptions are when we are depressed, in pain, or terminally ill). I believe our default programming will search for a meaning to life to justify the effort and discomfort we sometimes feel. Due to our large forebrains we, at minimum, have the impression that we can choose to override our default programming and accept one of the meanings preached around us, choose a different meaning for our lives, or choose to give life no meaning at all. We certainly don't have to gi

Freedom from Judgment

(Originally posted Sept. 7, 2006, on Perspectives) One of the great benefits that came once I no longer believed that god exists is the great relief of no longer having to worry about being judged. Now depending on your beliefs about God, you may have never had to deal with this, but believing in God can give you lots to worry about. Such as, "Am I pleasing the Lord? Did I exercise enough faith? When I am judged will I be found wanting? Is God displeased with what I am doing? Is this or that choice God's will for me? Am I following my calling?" Ick! It is so refreshing to be done with all of that. Now lest you believers think I never experienced the great joy of God's love and peace and grace and forgiveness; let me assure you that I have. And I certainly was not constantly aware of God's judgment hanging over my head. However, once it was completely gone, I realized that I had been carrying it all along. All I can say is that I feel a great relief. For those of y

Christ preaches intolerance and abandoning one's family

(Originally posted on Perspectives on Sept. 29, 2006) Long before Christians started ostracizing family members who fell away from the faith or condemning apostates and others who did not toe the line, Christ taught that his followers should do the same. I am frankly frustrated by people always praising Christ, that he was full of love and the world would be a better place if everyone were like him, blah, blah. Sure he taught some great things and showed some examples of charity, but he by no means was the first or the last to do that. (I of course am assuming that he even existed and that he said and did the things credited to him; contrary to popular belief the Gospels are not first hand accounts and much of his story seems to be borrowed from the stories surrounding the pagan gods before him.) Anyway, here is a sampling of his teachings that promote hatred and intolerance and leaving one's family if they don't believe the same as you. Topic: Leave family members who are not

Atheist "Church"?

Atheism is not a religion. It does not spell out a way of life. It, in and of itself, offers no theory of morality, no hope, and no philosophy of life or meaning. Atheism at minimum means not having a belief in God. Yet, many atheists, such as myself, can see the advantage of having a system of morality, a source of hope, a philosophy of life, and a way to give meaning. In addition, many atheists see the benefit churches provide in the sense of community. Communities are important for celebrating births and marriages, for commemoration during deaths, for support during hospital visits, for exchanging ideas in developing one's philosophy of life, for examples and mentors for your children, for a broader perspective and lessons in cooperation, and for opportunities for growth and to give service. I also enjoy feeling elevation with others, that transcendent emotion (warmth in the chest, love in the heart, peace in the mind). So, to meet these needs for those who don't believe in

Introduction to Atheism

Here is a link that answers the usual questions theists ask about atheism: http://www.infidels.org/library/modern/mathew/intro.html It responds to comments like: "Isn't disbelieving in God the same thing as believing he does not exist?" "Isn't it impossible to prove the nonexistence of something?" "It seems to me that nothing will ever convince you that God exists" "If atheism is not religious, surely it is anti-religious" "Is atheism just a way to backlash against one's upbringing, a way of rebelling?" "Aren't atheists less moral than religious people?" "Don't atheists want to believe in God?" "Of course atheists see no evidence for the existence of God - they are unwilling in their souls to see" "Isn't life pointless to an atheist?" "If atheism is so great why are there so many theists?" "What about all the famous scientists who have concluded that god exis

Relaxing and Peaceful Sunday

(Originally posted on NOM, Oct. 23, 2006) I had such a wonderful day yesterday. I attended the UU fellowship for the 3rd time in 4 weeks with my wife and 4 month old in hand. The meeting house is an old one room school in a pleasant valley with horses and cows grazing nearby. The first hour was about various creation myths. Then there is a coffee hour for socializing, and the second hour was presented by a husband and wife team who talked about their experiences as park rangers. The pace and dress is casual and no prayers were said all day. We, as a congregation learned a new hymn and the other hymns were very accepting no matter what you believe. As I left for home, I just felt a wonderful peace and felt refreshed. I am really getting used to my new post-Mormon life. It is really nice to be able to go to Sunday Services as a family again (I haven't been to LDS services in 6 months because I find them intolerable). I am so grateful that my wife and I are on the same page and we bot

Learning to find the good after no longer having to fight "truth" claims

(Originally posted on NOM, Nov. 13, 2006) I was talking with my wife, Lilly of the Field, last night. We have been attending the Unitarian Universalist Fellowship for a couple of months now and loving it. We are still waiting for acknowledgment from the COB that we are no longer members of the LDS church. But, we were talking about how it has always been easy for me to find the good in religions like Buddahism and Native American religions. I realized last night that it may be because I was never being told "this is the true religion" by practitioners of these faiths. Once I quit believing in Mormonism, I was angry for a while at being lied to and I still felt like I had to defend myself and counter those asserting that the Church is "the one and only true church". As long as I felt the need to counter that position, I had a difficult time seeing the good. But, once I finally acknowledged that I was done with all that (stick a fork in me I am done), I could finally

Mistakes I made by following what I thought was the "Spirit"

(Originally posted Nov. 18, 2006) During my mission, I and some of my fellow missionaries felt strongly by the Spirit and as full of confidence and faith as I have ever been that the Lord desired to heal a recent convert of mine of her endometriosis. I knew that she also desired this blessing and had faith that the Lord could do it through us. We all fasted and prayed, and when time came for the blessing came, I felt strongly impressed to cast the illness away and declare her to be healed. We gave it some time, but it did not happen. I performed mental gymnastics trying to account for this experience. We were worthy, authorized priesthood holders, who had fasted and prayed, and had unshakable faith in our Redeemer. At the time I gave the blessing, I was absolutely positive that it was the will of the Lord to heal her, right then, but maybe I had read the Spirit wrong. But, if that were the case I no longer knew when I was reading it right or not. I eventually suspected that my convert

What Torture Has Taught the Former Head of Amnesty International

(Originally posted on NOM, Nov. 17, 2006) http://uuworld.org/ideas/articles/6555.shtml This article really got me thinking about the difference we can make by treating people with dignity and worth. I think there are some institutional changes that can help, for example the way we treat prisoners and the welfare system, but I think the real change can only be accomplished one on one by having people go out of their way to care for those who have not been treated kindly by their parents or by their communities and have a lot of anger and depression that they redirect on to less threatening targets. A large part of our feeling of worth does come from the feedback we get from others. We also get a feeling of worth from doing things that we can be proud of, but I don't think either can fully compensate for the lack of the other. Often, as a psychotherapist, I wish that I had someone on the outside that could treat my clients with dignity and respect to help them get that feeling of wor

Things we are grateful for that the LDS Church gave us

(Originally posted on NOM, on Dec. 12, 2006) I thought that it would be nice to take a moment and express our gratitude for what the LDS Church gave us. I know that it will be a challenge for many of us, but perhaps a useful, temporary(?) perspective shift. Three things that I am grateful for that the LDS Church gave me are: 1) a very good knowledge of the Bible which is useful in understanding much of Western literature and the continuing Christian influence in the world, 2) a lot of skills (leadership, teaching, speaking, etc) acquired through my many different callings and service opportunities, and 3) a pretty happy and joyful life (I leaned a lot on my Mormon beliefs when my mom passed away when I was 14).

My respect for faith and doubt

(Originally posted on NOM, Dec 12, 2006) As many of you know, I am an atheist and value doubt and skepticism. But, what you may not know is that I still recognize some value and utility in faith. I am a social scientist and clinician in training. I see that the scientific endeavor has two stages: the first is generative and creative in which hypotheses are formed, the second is critical and formulaic in which the hypotheses are tested and tried with the express purpose of causing false hypotheses to fail. These are related to brainstorming and then later rejecting the ideas that are not as good. The critical phase demands skepticism, detachment, and actively setting up experiments that will make your hypothesis fail if it cannot meet certain criteria. This phase utilizes doubt and no scientist is justified in holding onto her hypothesis for long if her hypothesis has not gone through this rigorous testing phase. However, doubt and skepticism can only rule out bad hypotheses. If all sci

Softening: Humility and Awe

(Originally posted on NOM, Dec. 19, 2006) I sometimes sit in wonder at the changes taking place in me. What a roller coaster ride this year has been? I just turned 31, earlier this month. This time last year, I was organizing a book club among a few select friends from Elder's Quorum. We were going to read "Rough Stone Rolling" together and then discuss it. I was still a TBM back then, but one that was very familiar with the warts in LDS history and something of an amateur apologist. We were reading RSR to prepare ourselves to handle the tough questions members might ask of us for the likelihood was high that we would all go on to leadership positions in the church (I was currently a counselor in the Bishopric). I am not sure what it was, but something led me to more fully investigate what a friend who went inactive had told me about a few years before. It was about mistakes that Joseph had made in his "restoration" of the facsimilies in the Book of Abraham. I

Turning a new leaf

I am going to resurrect this blog and let the reader know that I am now atheist.

What should non-believers do? Stay or Go

A lot of True Believing Mormons (TBM's) believe that people who no longer believe the Church is true should leave. I left immediately upon no longer believing, but there are a lot of New Order Mormons (NOM's) who no longer believe, but stay anyway for family, community, moral upbringing for their children, the feeling of elevation (AKA the Spirit), or because it is the best thing out there. I do not think that it is our place to judge, but to be understanding and let each person live according to the dictates of their own conscience as the 11th Article of Faith says. Here are two links. The first was my short struggle about whether I would fake belief at least through my son's naming blessing. I have an advantage that most newly non-believers don't have, my wife is receptive to the idea that the Church is not true. http://tinyurl.com/hnmsw The second is a link to the home of New Order Mormons: http://forum.newordermormon.org/index.php

Why I left the LDS Church

[Last edited 1/28/10] I was a very deeply spiritual person and easily moved to tears when thinking of the Savior and the sacrifices I believed he made for me and the rich blessings he bestowed upon me. I was born in the covenant to convert parents who were very active in the Church and true believers. I had a strong testimony of Joseph Smith and the restoration even before turning eight for I had recognized the joy of the Spirit and the love for mankind I felt when reading the Book of Mormon. And after turning eight, I had an experience which I considered to be a visitation of an angel. When I was 14, my mother passed away. I felt very much alone and learned through that experience to lean on the Lord even more. I decided that I would do what was right because it was the path to happiness, not to please my dad or because of fear of punishment. I felt particularly close to Heavenly Father over the next few years, having had countless experiences of answered prayers, premonitions that w

Sincerity and openness

I admire sincerity. I am drawn to people who are earnest. My wife has told me that one of my traits that attracted her to me was my sincerity. I am not exactly sure why I find honesty and openness so engaging, and really...intriguing. I could speculate on why I have a preference for this, but I know enough about psychology to know that I can't really know why I like what I like. I don't have access to the part of my brain that determines things like that. The best we can do is create a model as to why we and others might have the preferences we do. Our common error is to think we actually discovered why when we have only come up with a reasonable speculation. An excellent article on how we don't have access to what motivates most of our behaviors is "Telling more than we know: Verbal reports on mental processes" by Nisbett, R. E. & Wilson, T. D. (1977) in the Psychological Review, Vol 84-3, pages 231-244. Back to the topic of sincerity. I have found many peopl

My Perspective

I think it is helpful at the beginning of a new blog to allow the reader to understand the current world view of the blogger. This allows the reader to have some context with which to understand future posts. I am an active, faithful member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I feel that I have a strong, personal relationship with my Father in Heaven and His Son Jesus Christ. I feel that I am very familiar with the doctrines of the modern Church. I have become acquainted with the challenges to the validity of the truthfulness of the Church. Some of which is still unresolved with me. I am capable of entertaining the idea that the Church is not true. I believe that it is possible to look at all the evidence, spiritual included, and come to the conclusion that the Church is not true. However, I do believe that it is possible to look at all the evidence, bar none, and arrive at the conclusion that the Church is true provided that one modifies one's understanding of a fe

The Virtue of Being Teachable

I believe that a great obstacle that stands in the way of our growth and development and our futher acquisition of knowledge is our tendency to believe we have arrived when we have barely begun our quest. I think it behooves us to delve deeper into everything that we think we know because there are often hidden treasures to discover. One example that comes to mind is the topic of faith. Up until about 5 years ago, I did not really think a lot about faith. I had previously read Lectures on Faith given at the School of the Prophets. From that I learned that faith was a principle of action and that faith in God comes from first being taught that there is a God, having a correct understanding of His attributes and perfections, and a knowledge that the life one is persuing is in accordance with His will. I also learned that everything we do requires faith in that we have an expectation of an outcome, but not a sure knowledge. What this blog is about is pushing against the condition I found