Tuesday, December 19, 2006

Relaxing and Peaceful Sunday

(Originally posted on NOM, Oct. 23, 2006)

I had such a wonderful day yesterday. I attended the UU fellowship for the 3rd time in 4 weeks with my wife and 4 month old in hand. The meeting house is an old one room school in a pleasant valley with horses and cows grazing nearby. The first hour was about various creation myths. Then there is a coffee hour for socializing, and the second hour was presented by a husband and wife team who talked about their experiences as park rangers. The pace and dress is casual and no prayers were said all day. We, as a congregation learned a new hymn and the other hymns were very accepting no matter what you believe.

As I left for home, I just felt a wonderful peace and felt refreshed. I am really getting used to my new post-Mormon life. It is really nice to be able to go to Sunday Services as a family again (I haven't been to LDS services in 6 months because I find them intolerable). I am so grateful that my wife and I are on the same page and we both really like the UU's.

I find that I am losing the zeal and fervor I had before in which it was important to me to have others realize that the LDS church is not true and to convince others of the evidence against the God of Abraham. I suppose two things have happened recently that have allowed me to relax on those issues. One, my wife and I recently submitted our resignation letters, and I felt like I got a chance to say all that I needed to say in my letter. The other event was my wife and I attended a delightful lecture by Richard Dawkins on his new book, "The God Delusion". I think it was validating and cathartic for me to be in a huge auditorium listening to a lecture that succinctly stated many of my arguments and beliefs. But even more than that, it was great to be in an audience, most of the whom were agnostics or atheists like me judging by the timing of the applause.

So often during the process of leaving the church, one feels very alone and isolated; misunderstood and unheard. Being in a huge crowd full of fellow non-believers; being able to say what I wanted to to the leadership of the Church in my resignation letter; and finding a community in which I can experience joy and comfort have helped me to counter those feelings. I still wish my extended family and in-laws would be more at ease with our decision to leave the church, but I am doing all that I can on that front. Time will have to ease the sting.

Last night I got a pm inviting me to participate in a discussion on the Book of Abraham on another message board. The Book of Abraham was one of my favorite topics as I had studied it so intensively. But, I had no desire to enter that discussion. I lack the motivation to rehash those points. I am content to let others believe whatever the heck they want to believe. I have found peace, and I hope all others can find peace if they desire it.

Who knows? I may get fired up again and want to debate at some future time. But, Mormonism is becoming ever more irrelevant to me. I am much more interested in finding my new spiritual practices.

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